Alone time and loneliness
How being alone is essential for me and about some kind of “library magic”.
As an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) I biologically need at least 2 hours a day alone for my nervous system to self-regulate. I didn’t know this until recently and in fact most of my life I didn’t give myself what I needed, due to unawareness about my neurological specific trait. Sensory Processing Sensitivity (the name of the trait) essentially makes your nervous system to be super wired and extremely reactive to social, physical, cognitive or emotional stimuli. That’s why lone time is essential for those who have this trait.
Therefore, I don’t really mind having a job in which I spend nearly all day by myself. In fact, when this doesn’t happen I cannot work. But this doesn’t mean I don’t like the company of people, although I am very selective (and that’s because, as part of the trait package, I cannot really lie).
As a student I spent all my time in libraries. My parent’s home was very small and there was no place that could work for my needs (plus, at the time I didn’t know I was an HSP and I didn’t know it was essential for me to spend time alone everyday). Libraries saved my life as a student. I was sitting by myself, doing what I needed to do, surrounded by people with the same need of space and quietnesses.
In 2016 the band The Head and The Heart released the song “Library Magic”, that going much further than the meaning libraries have for me, has become one of my favourite songs and a true life mantra.
My alone time applies to social media too: I find it everyday harder to be part of Instagram at the speed the platform wants the user to perform. The sounds start unexpectedly sometimes and the amount of content leaves me always very disoriented. I am learning to use Instagram in the way that is good for me and that feeds my creativity (as much as possible). This involves trying to forget about it at least for the most part of the day. I have lovely people that I am in contact with through Instagram and amazing artist that I follow with joy, feeling the privilege to witness their everyday posts. But I get very anxious if I don’t limit my socials time. This is the biggest reason why I am trying to switch to a more direct and less noisy interaction with you, here on Substack.
In the past I had very little alone time and I very often felt lonely. Now I have a lot of alone time and I very rarely feel lonely.
But I miss a co-working place where I can be alone surrounded but others, and I want to create one for this community* (more on this later).